An unfortunate side effect of socializing and making friends is meeting people you dislike. While most unfavorable people can be avoided, sometimes they turn into frenemies. People whom you dislike, but are friends simply because of proximity. Though dealing with a frenemy is as fun as a root canal, there are a few ways to put up with frenemies without getting arrested.
Although a frenemy makes you grit your teeth with passive aggressive language, you have to behave. Focus on the positive. If they give you backhanded compliments, smile sweetly and say their hair looks nice. Help them bring drinks back to the table when you’re at the bar with mutual friends and include them in the conversation.
Even if a frenemy is insulting you left and right, you have to rise above the snide comments. It makes them look rude and petty, and proves you’re a mature adult.
Avoid One-on-One Situations
Some frenemies are simply rude, and are not actually mean people. However, one of the few unfortunate ways to discover that is dealing with the latter. Avoiding one-on-one with frenemies decreases their chances to go from rude to nasty. It also prevents you from losing your cool and getting into a screaming match.
Hanging out in larger groups makes frenemies a lot more tolerable. If a group is larger than five people then it is easy to survive the night with only making small talk. The more people, the greater the buffer between you and your frenemy.
Don’t Get Personal
Giving a frenemy personal details about yourself is liking giving a serial killer a loaded gun. The less frenemies know about your private life, the less ammo they have. If it’s information you don’t want your boss to know, then you definitely don’t want your frenemy to get wind of it. A frenemy will twist your not-so-great moments into bad character, and then blab about it.
That also means not bad-mouthing others in front of frenemies. You can be certain that certain person will hear about it shortly.
Don’t Bad Mouth Frenemies to Mutual Friends
Talking smack about a frenemy to a mutual friend is an easy way to lose a friend. Unfortunately, not everyone will see why you dislike a frenemy, even your friends. When you complain about a frenemy to a mutual friend, you put them in a poor position. No one wants to hear people badmouth their friends.
Save the trash talk for your non-mutual friends. While gossiping is juvenile, sometimes a rant-filled vent is needed. If you’re going to bash a frenemy, save it for someone who doesn’t know them, or at least is friends with them. It could save a friend from turning into a frenemy, and a frenemy from becoming an enemy.
In an ideal world, frenemies would not exist. Unfortunately, the best you can do is avoid them, or at least treat them like a decent person. Always make sure to be the bigger person and save the trash talk for non-mutual friends. And who knows, maybe after time, your frenemy will become your friend.