The art of compiling the perfect breakup playlist is a precarious task. If you include too many depressing songs, you’ll relapse on Ben and Jerry’s. If you add too many hopeful songs, you’ll get annoyed and quickly hit the “stop” button. Luckily, there are five different types of breakup songs that will help any girl create a flawless breakup playlist.
The Devastating Song
This song was purely devised to make sure you are unable to smile for the rest of the day. Sometimes it even makes it near impossible to crawl out of bed and open the blinds. The track grabs your heart with an icy hand and crushes it. Similar to ripping off a Band-Aid, these heart-wrenching tracks are best to listen to right away because they hurt that much. But be sure to clear an hour or so after listening, you might still be crying in the fetal position.
Singer/songwriters in particular know how to pen a devastating track. Bon Iver, Damien Rice and Conor Oberst are all able to reduce people into tears in a matter of a minute.
The Epic Breakup Ballad
Ah, the epic breakup ballad. A song that starts out with at least a small sliver of hope and love and then takes a horrible left turn. These tracks are more than the standard three-minute radio songs. Instead, they take their time and outline the entire relationship from start to messy, mascara track finish. Epic breakup ballads are similar to devastating songs because they force you to relive the entire relationship again. They can be cathartic, but also involve a lot of ugly crying. So proceed with caution.
Something Corporate’s 10-minute piano ballad “Konstantine” is a longtime staple for ripping hearts out and smashing them, as well as nearly any Jimmy Eat World song that passes the five-minute mark.
The Bitter Song
Once you get over the initial stages of grief and misery, it is not uncommon to transition to bitter and angry. Although the gutting depression of a recent split is gone, there is still salt left in your wounds. Bitter songs let you flesh out your anger and rant. They also are perfect for belting out off-key notes as you sing into your hairbrush. While dancing around your living room isn’t exactly a celebrity workout, it is a step above crying on the couch.
Marina and the Diamonds’ tongue-in-cheek songs are the perfect amount of bitter tinted with her quirky playfulness that makes the tracks perfect for any breakup playlist.
The Revenge Song
A step-up from the bitter song, revenge songs inspire you to get off the couch and eat something other than ice cream. Your ex doesn’t want you anymore? Fine. Get a new haircut and start that new workout regime. We’ll see who doesn’t want you now. The revenge section of a breakup playlist is where things finally start getting fun again. Although you are obviously still a little hurt, you are ready to get back up and start new. You just want to watch him squirm a little.
Adele ‘s “Rolling in the Deep” is one of the best vengeful breakup songs. Taylor Swift, who also has a knack for writing bitter songs, also knows a few ways to get even with an ex who screwed her over.
The Empowering Song
Breakups can be the most debilitating experience a girl has to survive. Putting your faith and trust in someone and having it thrown back in your face is a hard pill to swallow. That is why it is essential to have at least one song that inspires you to move on during the dark times of a bad breakup. Empowering songs remind you that although things aren’t great, they will get better.
Bow down to Queen Beyonce. That girl has never looked back after a breakup. Florence + the Machine’ “Shake It Out” and “Dog Days Are Over” both are excellent tunes for ladies looking to move on and turn a new leaf.