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Are you misreading a potential friendship?

Not everyone wants to be your friend

This can be a very difficult lesson to learn. It’s especially difficult when you have the best intentions at heart. But you know what they say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

I learned the hard way, so you don’t have to

When I first moved here I was searching for a way to belong. I thought that I had found that sense of belonging. As I get ready to move forward with my life, I realize I was just meant to be a temporary resident. To learn the lessons I was meant to learn and move forward. I never had a brother, so I thought I had found one when I moved here. He was my lesson. I just assumed that because he waved and said “hi” to me on the occasion, that he was seeking a friend.

I extended myself to him in ways that I never should have

There were a few occasions that he tried to tell me that he didn’t want to be bothered, but being the stubborn person that I am sometimes, I wouldn’t listen. It reached a boiling point towards the end of last year when there was a major confrontation.  It scared me in ways that I had never been scared before. That confrontation happened to me for a reason. It forced me to finally see things for what they were. Some individuals just don’t want you as a friend. Nor do they want you to bug into their life. I’m passing my experience onto you.

Not everyone wants to be your friend

If you think there might be connection, check it out first.  Sometimes we mistake the occasional “hello” from a person as a sign of interest and possible friendship. When in truth, they are just being polite. If that person extends themselves and invites you in, than get to know them slowly. Don’t just assume that they are okay to be with. Because anyone can turn on you on a dime. Don’t be in such a hurry to invite yourself into their circles. If they invite you to join, than go ahead. But wait for an invitation first.

Don’t joke around at their expense

I have done this a few times myself. I assumed that because I got along with a certain individual and his friend at the time, I was automatically included. That’s not true. I was infringing on their time. This is not cool. If you are not invited into the situation by any party, than stay away and mind your own business.

Learn to listen

If you do have a friend and he is going through a tough time, listen. But don’t give out suggestions unless asked for. We get it into our heads that just because we are friends with a person,  we can give out unsolicited advice. We are meant to guide them to the solution, not force it on them.

Certain people come into our lives to teach us something valuable. Sometimes we need to take off the headset and listen to what the universe is trying to tell us.

 

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