Okay ladies, listen up!

Your big day has arrived and you want to make sure that everything goes off without a hitch. You have hired the “perfect” caterer. You have hired the “perfect” DJ and club hopping music.  You have spent every last second on every little minute detail so that everything will go off without any sort of problem. You want everything to be “perfect” on your “perfect day”.

But I have to wonder if sometimes you have overlooked something.  I have to wonder if as women you have the focus on the wrong end of the stick.

What about the marriage?

So, what about the marriage? You know, that institution that you have pledged your whole life to? You promise to love one another for better and for worse.  But what if these are just words? What if these are just words and empty and shallow utterances that we speak to one another?

Let me give you an example.

It’s so easy to be there for someone during the good times, I mean isn’t that we tell our friends.  We tell them we will be there for them, but do we really mean it? Are these just empty words too? The good times comes rolling around and we are all up in it.  We are all ready to break out the wine and champagne and toast to our successes, especially with being a couple.

But what about the opposite side? What about the hardships that come with it?  Marriage does come with hardships and the sooner we own up to it, the better things will be.  If our husband gets sick, what then?  Basically, as his partner, you need to look after him and take care of him.  When he is old and incapable of stepping up to the plate, here again, you need to be there for him.

Why is is that we don’t really think about this stuff until it becomes too late? Why is that we want the good times to keep coming and be completely disconnected from the bad stuff? We spend so much of our lives focusing on the wedding day that we neglect the other parts of the relationship. Once the music dies down and our adoring fans go away it is just the two of you.

What is it about “just us two” that scares us so much?

Courtesy: StockImages

Courtesy: StockImages

In the real world a real relationship takes work and it is not just some never-ending wedding day. You have to be each other’s rock and place of solace.  Marriage is not just about the “image” that we put out to the world.  Marriage takes communication and taking each other’s feelings into account. But why is it that we constantly look past this step?

When you are with someone you are loving every part of them, and not just the good parts that fit together and look good on paper.

Always remember this, just because it looks good on paper doesn’t mean that it is.

When something doesn’t fit into our plans or the romance goes out the door, we look to something else instead of what is right in front of us. Instead of trying to reignite what once was we look to other things and people to make us happy and fulfilled. Our marriage is supposed to make us happy ladies and not just be a “prop or image” that we cart around town to make someone else envious of what we “supposedly” have. We sit in a dark room and look at old photos of the wedding and what once was.  But what if it isn’t gone? What if the only thing standing between the two of you is the simple fact that you just can’t get passed the “wedding day.”

A marriage is supposed to be about just the two of you and no one else.  Why do we still seek the approval of others, when we can’t even get it from ourselves? When it comes to either living the marriage or staying stuck in that time of the wedding, why do we choose what was instead of who you could be?

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