Dealing with jealousy.
Free Digital Photos | By ambros

We have all gone through this and if you haven’t you are either in denial or you are lying. Jealousy is a human reaction. It’s a human behavior.

How much jealousy is too much jealousy?

That seems to be the question of the day for so many. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is jealous, that shows they care. But it gets to a point where that caring becomes out-of-control.  Once it hits that mark you need to do something to keep it under control.

Can you keep it under control?

Well, it all depends on the type of person you are. I will admit that in the past I was a very jealous person. That was at a time when I had no self-confidence. Every guy I was with, I lived and breathed.  I attached myself to these unattainable men that would never see me in a certain  way and then I would become jealous at every other person that entered their world. It was so chaotic the way I went through life at that point. I blamed the guys that I was with for not giving me the attention I wanted.  If I was with a guy and someone that he was attracted to was in his life, I felt threatened. I felt threatened and scared that he would go after them. But I was so mixed-up with my feelings that I could never see that I began to love these guys in vain. I wanted what I was never supposed to have and because I was behaving like a child, I acted like a child. I treated all of those relationships in a child-like way.

I don’t even really think it was love. To be honest, I think it was lust and fantasy. I tried to turn them, the fantasy, into a reality.

But it never worked out and I got burned because of it. Ladies learn from my mistakes here. Don’t ever let it get this far. If the guy appears to have no interest in you and your efforts are in vain, then you need to stop and take a look at what you are doing. Because those sleepless nights and those endless tears will all be in vain.

I know because all of this happened to me.

If he is sending you every indication that it will never happen, then pay attention to those signs.  To be a little jealous is one thing, but to make it your whole life’s mission to have him as your conquest, then you are making a huge mistake. If he is not into you and he doesn’t see you in that way, then you have no right to be jealous. There is nothing to be jealous of. Because technically, he is not yours!

If he is your man, don’t make it your life’s mission to fight every person that comes into his life, that you see as a threat. If she is actually a threat, you will be able to tell. If they are clearly hitting on your man right in front of your eyes, yes that is a problem. You can show a little jealousy. It’s human. I would think that your boyfriend would be a bit worried it you didn’t show a small hint of jealousy.

If the person just looks at your man and smiles, don’t get up and start fighting just yet.  This is so uncool, especially if it’s just an innocent gesture. If it’s not innocent there will be signs.

Jealousy can make us do crazy things. It can make us get that unattainable guy drunk in hopes of seducing him. It can encourage us to see signs that aren’t even there. It can lead us to think that the guy we are after feels the same way about us, even though, clearly, he doesn’t.

Unless he is actually your man and he gives you a reason to be jealous, then you shouldn’t be jealous..

I ended up placing my triggers on to the wrong people and things. I would get jealous over some guy that I would never have, in hopes that one day I would have them.

I was living life through a child’s eyes.

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