Ladies, I know that many of you have asked that very same question in your own lives:
Are we turning into our mothers?
We look at some of the choices that we make and some of the things that we do and we wonder if we have become our mother. It’s something that we are all scared of. We all dread that day when we start acting like our mothers did with us when were younger. We make a pact within ourselves to never, ever be like our mothers and yet it somehow can not be avoided.
We wake up one day and take a good look in the mirror and not only notice that we have become them, but that we look like them too.
One show that I’m obsessed with is the “Big Bang Theory.” I love this show.
There was one episode where Wolowitz speaks to his friend Sheldon about women and relationships. He speaks about a line that he once used to try and pick up a girl. No of course this line didn’t work but it was funny nonetheless. The line went something like this “I’d like to see a picture of your mother, so that I know what I’m getting into!”
No of course the line is a riot and some may even find it offensive, but behind all of that there is a hidden truth. Are we destined to become our mothers, no matter what area you are talking about?
Now I was raised in an adopted home so I never knew my real mother.
But I still did learn a lot. Over my 30 plus years of observance and experience I can say without a doubt that this question that lives inside our heads, will be a reality.
Ladies, I’m sorry to say this, but there is no way to get around it.
Imagine if you have a son and you dote on him religiously. Now when he grows up, he may or may not have mother-son issues that need to be addressed, but this is another subject. In a way, it’s like the daddy’s girl complex, only reversed. Your son will cling to you to do everything and when something goes wrong in his life he will look to you to clean it up for him. Not every son will be that way, but it’s a fair assessment that depending the environment he grew up in, he will look to you.
He will be the “momma’s boy.”
I have lived with them and I have known them personally. There is nothing wrong with the per say, they just need to learn to stand on their own feet and make their own way in the world. And that means letting go of dear old mom.
Now if any of you have suffered this kind of example, or something like it, think back to when you were growing up. Did your mother treat you the same way or did she do things differently? If you look into yourself to find the answer, you just might discover why your life is the way it is. Often times we repeat the same mistakes our mothers did without knowing it. We just chalk it up to heritage and we blame the mother. We blame the mother because that is what our mother did. She blamed her mother and so on and so on. It’s a pattern.
But if we can take away the blame and figure out where we are making the mistakes and where we are messing up, we just might be able to do the one thing they couldn’t. We might just remove their face from out mirror and replace it with our face instead. We can learn a lot from our pasts but it doesn’t mean that we have to become our past. We can’t take our mothers out of the equation, but we can replace them with our own equations.
When we look in the mirror are our mothers, both past and present, staring right back at us?