There are many of us who “claim” that we don’t care what others think. But when push comes to shove, we do. We often times obsess about what others are thinking about us and saying about us, more than we care to admit. But did we ever stop to admit that it’s not really about them, but more than likely, it’s about us. It’s something that is going on within us and not the other person. Most of the time if there is a problem with someone else, the other person will speak on it. The other person will let us know that there is an issue. But if that isn’t what is going on, then there is probably not an issue.
I know exactly what you are going through.
For the better part of my life now I have been going through this issue. I have been facing this problem ever since I was a little boy and being raised the way I was. For the longest time I was plagued with insecurities and doubts. I was plagued with criticisms and judgments for what others thought of me. To this day, I still have issues with it from time to time. But I have learned how to handle it in more of a proactive way. For those of you who still suffer like I do, I have found a few ways to combat this. You won’t be able to get rid of these feelings entirely, but you will be able to handle it better.
Learning not to care what others think of you.
Many of us, myself included, tend to obsess and over-think things. We tend to do this to the point where we can’t see straight anymore. The next time you catch yourself over-thinking something, try to look for the positive. Don’t dwell on the negative. If you make a change in your life, chances are your friends are going to be the only ones who notice the change. If you assume that a random stranger is talking about you, chances are it’s all in your head.
Put things in perspective.
Usually those who put things in perspective, can see the forest before the trees. These people can see the bigger picture, not the temporary pain. I have been on both sides of the coin. These days, it try to focus on the bigger picture. It’s not always easy, but by taking some time away, you might just get the perspective you need.
You can only control yourself, not others.
One thing I have learned is that someone else’s view of you is coming from their ego. The way you deal with it, determines whether or not it’s you or your ego. So try to deal with it in a positive fashion. If you notice that someone is giving off nothing by negativity, then avoid them at all costs. And remember that whatever they may feel about you, it’s their issue, not yours. Don’t allow their ego or negativity to enter your existence. If you show them that they aren’t getting to you, chances are they will leave you alone. You can’t change the way someone feels about you, only they can change their mind on how they feel about you. So unless it becomes vital in your life, don’t sweat the small stuff.
Learn to accept yourself, flaws and all. This is not the easiest thing to do, but once you learn to do this, all of the doubts will fall by the wayside. Take notice of your fears and worries and own them. Once you do that, they too will disappear. Become more confidant in who you are. I deal with all of these things every day. But if we battle these things together dear readers, we can win this war together.