When you take a chance on a new love interest is just about him or are we allowing our past to crowd the table too?

1385766_love_3 (1)Let’s think about this for a second, ladies.

I mean when we take a chance on someone new are we truly over our past? Or is this something that we are just telling ourselves in order to get back out there again. If it is just a lie that we tell ourselves than how long should we allow before we take that leap?

It’s a funny thing when you end something with someone.

You go through all of the photographs of him and you and go back to when the two of you were so very happy. You go through the closet and get rid of any reminders of what the two of you had together. You toss that box of clothes out on the lawn and sigh that it is all over. But is it really? I mean we say that we are moving on, but ladies how many times have we used that line before? How many times have we said that we are over him and we want to get back out there? Then when we do get back out there all we can do is speak long and loud about our ex-boyfriends. All we do is speak endlessly about them and how the relationship was for us. What does that say about us?

More importantly what is that saying to the new guy that we are with.

Most likely he will just flinch and laugh and just kind of mock interest. I mean he isn’t going to be as interested in our exes as we are. In fact he might just call it a night early in the evening and make up some excuse for leaving abruptly.

We could easily talk to our friends but let’s be real, there is going to be a limited window to do that before they cut us off. Once you reach that window limit they will just say that they don’t want to hear about it anymore. I mean– friendship boundaries and limits can only go so far before they begin to cut us off.

So, why not instead of dealing with these embarrassing scenarios why not avoid it altogether. Spend some time alone and get over the relationship fully before moving on. Instead of going through the old pictures and clothes and throwing them out, why not confront them. Instead of running away, why not confront those demons that he brought to the table? What if you never had the closure that you so desperately needed? Well find some way of getting it, even if you have to do it yourself.

Don’t let him and what the two of you had spoiled what your future might hold. Because we say that we are over our pasts, but I wonder how many actually believe this. I wonder how many have actually confronted their past instead of choosing to run away from it.

When it comes to our past sitting at the table with us, when does pleasantly neurotic turn into wrong and obnoxious?

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