ID-100142331Hearing the premature “I love you” can be both exciting and scary all at the same time. Imagine this scenario for a second. You are dating this really great guy. He’s both gorgeous and funny. The two of you have been seeing each other for a few months now. You talk to each other every day, several times a day. You send one another funny texts and calls. You are practically inseparable. But than one day, he drops those three words “I love you.”

The cart before the horse

Hearing these three words can change ones life forever. But what happens when he means it and the you aren’t quite  there yet? Now some experts say that putting the cart before the horse like this can often times be a red flag. If the person is capable of falling in love this quickly, how fast will they fall out? For most people it takes time to fall in love with the other person, let alone say those words.

Ladies, when the premature “I love you” happens, what are your choices

The first thing you need to do is to talk to him.  Find out how he really feels. That will give you some indication of where the two of you are headed. Hearing those three words prematurely may not be a deal breaker, but you do need to sort through the choices. Some confuse the words “I love you” with the notion of “being in love.” If it was just a slip, than you need to make allowances. Let them know that you can discuss at a later time.

The elephant in the room.

This can put a lot of pressure on the other person. For some of us, it takes a while to sort out those feelings. What if you have just gotten out of a relationship? Most of us, when we first get out of a relationship don’t want anything serious. We want something fun, without any attachments. Some may be looking to date openly, without a serious commitment. Others may just be looking to have sex, but again, nothing serious. It’s still about keeping the options open, that’s all. We are not looking to tell the person “I love you.”

If you can see yourself saying those three words at some point, than maybe you can restore the balance. However, if you know early on that you only see the relationship as something fun, nothing more,  you need to let him know. It’s not fair to string him along. It’s also not fair to carry on a relationship with someone where they are envisioning a future with you and you are not. By stringing them along, you will be setting them up for a big disappointment and both of you will end up with the damages.

Sometimes hearing the premature I love you is a sign that certain things need to be addressed. So don’t look at it as a bad thing. It will mean the difference between walking down the isle with someone you don’t really love and sending them a “get out the relationship” card early.

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