dumping someone, broken heart

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Do you know the basics on dumping someone?

Being dumped is a part of life. We have all been there. If you haven’t been dumped by someone,  then you haven’t lived. Being dumped gives you a chance to grow as a person and not do the same things twice. But there are certain protocols that need to be followed, especially if you are the one who is doing the dumping.

The rules of dumping someone

Facebook is a no-no

Breaking up with someone over any kind of social media, is as bad as coming out to friends and family through an instant message. It’s not safe and how can you be sure that you can trust those who see it. Plus you are not respecting all parties involved.  Sometimes we don’t have a choice in the matter, but you need to protect yourself, as well as the other person’s privacy. Just because the two of you are breaking-up, doesn’t mean that it’s not still a private matter. Do you really want the whole world to know the when and why of your relationship? Chances are, not really.

Don’t just bring it up randomly

No matter what your reason is, make sure you plan ahead. Be sure to do it in a place that is not sentimental to either of you. Let’s say that the Olive Garden is his or her favorite place. The rules of dumping someone dictates that you don’t have dinner there. If you do, than this will be very awkward for the two of you. It will be cruel of you to bring them to their favorite romantic place only to dump them after the appetizers, unless you plan to wait until after the main course. It’s as cruel as dumping someone in very harsh lighting. You just don’t do it.  You want to be honest, but not look like a jerk. Do it this way, and you will be the jerk.

Don’t use tired cliché’s.

Using phrases like, “It’s not you, it’s me” and “We can still be friends” is tired and boring. And quite frankly, very insulting. When you tell someone “it’s not you, it’s me”, you are basically telling the other person that it is them. You are just taking the coward’s way out. So be respectful of the person. If a friendship is maintained, expect that the friendship may not be there for a while.  Also, expect that it may not be as it once was. Don’t pressure them and be ready to accept whatever friendship the other party is willing to give to you.

Don’t give out mixed signals

Set guidelines. If you want him or her to stay away, then you need to be clear. Not just for yourself, but for the other person. Don’t tell them that you want the distance, but then accept their calls. This will be very confusing to both of you.

Dumping someone can be a tricky thing to do. So you need to be true to yourself and all of those involved. Respect each other’s feelings. And above all, be sure that you really want to do this. Once you put it out there, you can’t take it back.

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