Like most good-hearted human beings, I think it’s very important to be honest. I think it begins with one being honest to oneself, and then only from there can people truly be honest with others.
So here it is, one hundred percent honesty about my weight gain:
Although I’ve written many times before about how to maintain your weight or simple steps to take to keep active and healthy, I wasn’t fully living by my own words (as Alice famously said whilst lost in Wonderland, “I give myself very good advice, but very seldom follow it”).
I fell into my continual trap of being at or around my goal weight, feeling comfortable, letting my eating and working out habits slide, and therefore not noticing the weight was creeping up on me. My weight gain started happening before the holidays even occurred (still being honest, I’m not blaming the holidays for what I’ve been doing to myself for months), but when I had to veto two perfect dress options on New Year’s Eve because they were too tight, it was the last straw. Now that the holidays are officially over, I have to face facts and get myself back in order before I spiral out of control.
It’s a bit embarrassing, yes.
To have written several times about losing weight and keeping it off, only to then slip up myself. But, that’s life and I’m only human. Weight loss and management will always be a constant struggle for me for as long as I live. It’s been a struggle since elementary school and I know it will continue to be. Aside from clothes becoming too tight, I know that my body isn’t happy with me and how I’ve been treating it for these past few months. I’ve been filling it with nonstop junk food and inactivity, and it’s itching to eat healthy and start moving again.
I could try to deny this and then carry on with life, but I would be doing a disservice to myself. Denial doesn’t help anyone. When I worked at Weight Watchers, I learned the first thing to say to any member who’s had an upsetting weigh in is to tell them that at least they’re being accountable. They’re coming and weighing in and taking accountability, despite not liking the number on the scale. Once you’re aware, then you can truly carry on with your journey.
I know that losing the pounds I’ve put on won’t be easy (I was going to say “a walk in the park” but then realized my body would indeed benefit from that), but I’m accepting where I am, starting again, and keeping my goals in mind. What’s going to help me through this journey is believing in myself. I know what I need to do to get back to a happier and healthier life, all there is left is to do it.
I’m not saying I’m never going to mess up and disappoint myself again.
That just isn’t how life works. There are going to be days where I eat more than I’d like to of foods I know aren’t great for me, and even more days where I skip the gym for a number of (probably invalid) reasons. But what I plan first and foremost is to not give up on myself. Just because you come across a speed bump doesn’t mean you just stop the entire journey. Success will only come if you keep up the effort, despite the fact that it will take time to get to your ultimate destination. With all of this in mind, I will continue to go forward and better myself, because above all else, I owe it to myself.