I was watching this movie “The Perks of Being A Wallflower,” which is a very good movie, by the way. And I found one line very interesting. The conversation started out as this young man was asking why nice girls always go for the wrong guys.

break upAnd this teacher replied “We accept the love we think we deserve”.

Now this is such an amazingly powerful line to speak.

It brings up so many things.

But even more importantly it makes me wonder how such a  simple statement as this can be sound profoundly true.

The next time you are involved in a relationship with a guy ask yourself a few things first.

Is this really the type of guy that we truly want to be with?

Will this guy really make us happy? Or are just settling because of the slim pickings out there? I mean, let’s be honest, the guy pool is not that large these days. Even when we do find a guy that we think we can relate to, he turns out to be damaged in some way. I mean we are all damaged in some way. What if the guy we are with is majorly damaged?

What if the guy that we love turns out to be just another lost cause. Are we dating a fixer-upper and we just don’t know? Are we secretly attracted to wounded birds because we relish the idea of being the one that saves them?  Would we rather date a guy that is a work-in -progress, or date a guy that has it all together? What about the guy that has everything together– does he even exist?

When we look into the mirror are really being honest with ourselves?

Or are we just lying to our soul? Do we even bother to ask ourselves when kind of guy we deserve to have in our lives. And even if we do, why do we always settle for something of lesser value. Is it because we are know that he really doesn’t exist? Or is it because we know deep down inside we don’t deserve more than we already have?

Take a scenario like this.

You are dating a guy that is okay, but not really who we want to be with in the long run. One day a guy comes along that we can actually picture spending the rest of our lives with, while we are still with that guy. What do we do? Do we choose the guy that we could be happy with or do we keep with the guy we already have? Keep in mind it’s not just as simple as choosing guy A or guy B. It’s a matter of the psychology behind our choice.  In other words, why are we choosing the guy we are choosing?

Are we afraid of the fact that he may not be that into us? Or are we afraid of the notion that he could be into us? Sometimes what is scarier than not be chosen, is being chosen. Are we stepping back and just accepting what is there because we are too afraid of what might happen?

I mean these are all good questions with potentially fearful and truth seeking answers. Why is it that it’s more scary to take a chance on a possibility than it is to sit back and live with the regret later?

What does that say about us and who we are, when compared to the guy we are with and the regret we may have later?

Why do we secretly sabotage our own happiness?

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